A free quiz

Are you single, or still waiting?

Being single doesn't always mean you've stopped waiting.

In about three minutes, discover where your energy may still be tied up in love, the past, or the possibility of what's next. Then leave with seven simple steps to begin calling that energy back to yourself.

  • About 3 minutes
  • 9 questions · Free
A person standing among translucent panels, each showing a different version of themselves “I’m fine being single.” “Maybe after the move.” “Just checking my phone.”
What we say. And where our energy actually goes.
Does this sound like you?

You're genuinely okay being single. Until someone gets engaged, finds their person, or moves into the life you thought you'd have by now... and something in you tightens.

There are things you keep telling yourself you'll do when there's someone to do them with. The trip. The move. The life you haven't quite let yourself begin.

One unclear message can take your whole evening.

Part of you still goes back to someone from before, wondering what could have been different.

None of this means you're doing singlehood wrong. It simply shows you where some of your energy may still be waiting, reaching, hoping or holding on. We've identified six patterns that can keep us there.

The six patterns

Six places the waiting lives.

Waiting doesn't look the same for everyone. This quiz helps you see where yours is showing up, how it's affecting your life, and where your energy may still be going.

  1. 01

    Past Connection

    Some of your energy is still with someone from before.

  2. 02

    Future Fantasy

    Part of your life is being saved for the relationship you hope is coming.

  3. 03

    Chase

    Your energy moves outward, looking for certainty.

  4. 04

    Need to Be Chosen

    Your sense of worth rises and falls with being chosen.

  5. 05

    Life on Hold

    Parts of your life are still waiting for love to begin.

  6. 06

    No Longer Waiting

    Your life is full, and you are open to love.

What you leave with

A clear picture, and one thing to do with it.

  1. 01
    Your pattern, and the way it shows up for you

    Not just which pattern you fall into, but the particular way it's showing up in your life and the first step toward shifting it.

  2. 02
    Your full pattern profile

    See which other patterns may be present, and how much of your energy has been going toward waiting lately.

  3. 03
    Call Your Energy Back

    A free 7-step workbook to explore what your pattern is protecting you from feeling, what happens in your body when it takes over, and how to begin reclaiming your energy.

Is this for you?

Who this is for.

This is for you if

  • You're single, or in something undefined, and part of you can feel that you're still waiting.
  • You've already done some inner work, and you know there's more here than simply learning to “love yourself.”
  • You are willing to answer honestly, even when the true answer is not the flattering one.

This isn't for you if

  • You're looking for tactics to get someone back, get more matches or make someone choose you.
  • You're looking for a diagnosis. This is a tool for self-reflection, not a clinical assessment.

How this quiz works

Answer from who you've actually been lately, not who you're trying to become.

Choose the answer that feels most true, even when it isn't the most flattering one. Some questions allow more than one answer.

As you move through the quiz, the questions become more specific to you, helping reveal not just what you think about being single, but where your energy is actually going.

Your answers are private.

About 3 minutes · 9 questions · Free

Jakob and Alyssa · The Conscious Pause · Privacy